Relationships: Is It Harder For Someone To Settle Down If They Have Been With A Lot Of People?

Love, Couple, Family, Sweethearts, Young

In years past it was the norm for people to wait until they were married before they had sex, and they would have probably stayed with the same person until their time on this earth came to an end. Thanks, in part, because of the’sexual liberation’ of the 60s and 80s, this has all changed.

Having sex outside of marriage was no longer seen as something which was incorrect, at least not to the exact same degree as before. Naturally, there were people who were not on board with what was taking place.

A New Era

The world has come a long way since that time and it is not longer a big deal for someone to have sex out of marriage. Nowadays, it’s a bigger deal for somebody to get married than it is for them to have sex out of it.

Marriage is often seen as something that is old and outdated, or simply as something that will allow a couple to receive certain benefits. Having casual sex, on the other hand, is as ordinary as going out and buying a chocolate bar (or a fruit bar for people who are healthy), for instance – it is not seen as a big deal.

Freedom

One way of looking at this would be to state that although people were restricted from the past; this is no longer true. If someone wants to express themselves sexually without committing to another person, they could, and they can do so without feeling ashamed.

If they were alive a number of decades ago, they may have had to repress this impulse and to wait till they had found someone to commit their life to. Looking at this based on how things are now, it may seem incredibly restrictive to live this way.

A Prison

If somebody who – regularly expresses their sexual side with unique individuals – was sent back in time, they’d probably find it incredibly tricky to handle. They would be able to express themselves in different ways, but it may feel as if they are in a cage.

This section of their nature would need to be overlooked, that is unless they were to channel it into something creative. Luckily, then, someone can express this side of these directly in the current world, along with being creative in other ways.

The Outcome

So, as it is no longer necessary for someone to be married in order to allow them to fulfil their sexual needs, it has meant that there are loads of people who are not interested in having a relationship. Due to how easy for them to fulfil their sexual needs, there isn’t any need for them to commit to anyone.

What also play a part in this is if someone is in the beginning of their life and is physically appealing, which can make it easy for them to attract people. The desire to only fulfil their sexual needs and to forget the rest of their needs can also be a sign that they have a fear of intimacy.

1 Outlook

With that aside, it could be said when someone has the capacity to express themselves in this manner, it will empower them to have a fulfilling relationship if they so choose. For a start, getting close to different individuals will allow them to learn what sort of person would be suitable for them.

Whereas, if they weren’t able to’experiment’ in this way, they wouldn’t get the chance to understand who would be a good match for them. It is then similar to trying out different cars, instead of buying the first car that appears, or trying out different jobs, before finding the ideal career path.

A Life of Misery

If one was to end up in a relationship with the first individual who they felt attracted to and got married soon after, and this might be someone they’ve met at school, for instance, they might end up realizing they are not compatible within a few years. The time they spent with this individual could then have been used to understand themselves better and to develop their career.

What may play a big role in a person’s decision to’experiment’ could be exactly what their parent’s relationship was like when they were growing up.

Another Outlook
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But, while someone may find that’experimenting’ with lots of people different will allow them to find someone who is right for them and then to have a long-term relationship, it may not work out this way. For starters, they may find that being in a relationship is not stimulating enough, and they crave the stimulation they receive by hooking up with unique people each week/month.

Fast food will be quick and easy, just as getting casual sexual will be quick and easy; healthy food is going to take some time to prepare and supply a different level of satisfaction, as a committed relationship is going to take a while to develop and it won’t necessarily be filled with the same highs and lows.

What one my find is that through having so many casual encounters, it’s created a very low tolerance for frustration and eroded their self-control.

Therefore, as soon as there is tension between them and their partner, they may feel the pull to find somebody else, and, if they find someone else attractive, they may be unable to acknowledge this impulse without needing to act upon it. It will be like they’ve devolved into a child who is completely controlled by their urges.

In the back of their mind, they can believe that there is someone out there who is better than the person they are with, eliminating the need to work through any challenges that arise. These challenges can be viewed as a sign that their relationship isn’t working, instead of a normal part of a connection and as something which will bring them nearer.

Being with so many people won’t have allowed them to get a clearer idea about the sort of person who is right for them; what it’ll have done is made it more or less impossible for them to choose who is right for them. One will have trained themselves to run short distances, and, to stay with somebody, they will have to undertake the training that will allow them to run long distances.

 

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